Thursday, November 30, 2006

Sex, Lies, and Videotape

My husband and I speak in code sometimes when we connect by e-mail because we're sure at least one of our bosses enjoys the use of SPYWARE. "You pick up Tim" means it's crazy at work and I'll tell you later and also possibly I'm going out for drinks with colleagues to bitch about it. "Someone shoot me" can follow an inane staff meeting. Lunch sometimes means sex.

Me: "Want to meet for lunch?"

Him: "Yes"

Me: "What time?"

Him: "How hungry are you?"

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When I was in the eighth grade I cheated on a health test. Just because I could, I guess. Wally Cash was handing out multiple-choice answers so my friend Robin Werman and I each wrote all the answers in two-columns on the palm of our hand: 1-a, 2-e, 3-a, 4-b, etc.

When I turned in my test Mr. Olson handed me a neatly folded note. I opened it on my way back through my row. It read, "If you have answers on your left hand, please tear up your test." As I looked up I saw him pass Robin a note, too. She told me later hers read, "If you have answers on your right hand. . . ." We were both impressed with his method and also that he noticed I was right-handed and she was left. Not bad.

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Need I say more?

http://www.freehugs.org/

1 comment:

Night Editor said...

Nooners and "naptimes," that's been our motto.