We all attended the Minnesota v. Purdue football game Saturday night. Not a good game, not a good game at all. But we sat with our daughter and the jubilant Minnesota women's rowing team, who were there to be honored for their 2007 Big Ten Rowing Championship.
Some notes from the game:
The manufacturer hadn't finished work on their Big Ten rings so they bought Toys R Us plastic rings in pastel colors for them to wear out on the field.
Some of the surly football boosters who have season tickets near our great seats (three up from the sidelines) were upset by all these squirrely women who really could have given a rat's ass about the dismal game. The boosters called security and the man with the yellow jacket came down and warned, "This is a football game, not a slumber party." A lot of others in the crowd, after watching the Gophers drop the ball and miss all kinds of tackles, would have disagreed.
The ESPN camera man has to run sprints back and forth along the sideline, with various intern-types running after him, cords in tow. I mean this camera man could book it! Many of the people around us got so bored with the game that they started tracking the cameraman. Finally one person said, "Hey, maybe they should give HIM the ball."
Finally, after Harris dropped the ball just 10 yards from the goal line and the Boilermakers were poised to tromp the Gophers, some of the beer drinkers started to shout out, "WE LOVE YOU CANNON MAN!" Because the Cannon Man, you see, is this Alfred Hitchcock lookalike who makes a grand statement parading along the sideline, cannon and "CANN0N CREW" in tow, ready to shoot off the thing when--if--the Gophers ever scored. Even after the game, when we were all in the elevator and there was nothing even to analyze about the Gophers poor effort, two strangers looked at us and said, "Even the Cannon Man missed shooting after one score."
From the University of Minnesota:
Rod Wallace, who built and owns the Thunderbird Hotel and Convention Center near the Mall of America in Bloomington, has fired a cannon after every Gopher football score in the Metrodome for the last 11 years. Although he never attended the University, having entered military service on his 18th birthday, Wallace is also a major University donor, having given money to renovate the interior of Burton Hall, to install an indoor field in the Gophers' football practice facility, and more.
Q: How did you become Cannon Man?
A: The Goal Line Club [a football booster club], which I helped to found, started with a cannon that made noise through the PA system. That didn't seem to suffice. I did a lot of sailing, so I came up with the idea of bringing a [sailing race] starting cannon and using it at the Dome. We tried it out and it made a lot of noise. I've been the infamous Cannon Man ever since.
Rod Wallace, aka Cannon Man, photo courtesy of University Athletics
Q: What does the cannon shoot?
A: We fire a 10-gauge shell with various different powders inside. Usually, it's six grams of powder. When the Dome used to be almost empty, we went down to four grams. When it's full for Iowa or Wisconsin games, we fire 10-gauge with eight grams of powder. But the shells seem to get louder as they age, so you never really know what you're going to get.
Q: Have you ever missed a score?
A: No, but I've held off shooting sometimes. It's a little dangerous, because it does shoot a small projectile [of packing cardboard] a short distance. Sometimes the cheerleaders get excited and run across in front of me. I have to be careful that everything is clear.
Q: Do you wear ear protection?
A: Oh, yes, it's awfully loud. My hearing has somewhat gone bad anyhow, so it doesn't affect me so much.
Q: If a new outdoor stadium gets built, will the cannon be loud enough?
A: We've taken it on trips to the various bowl games, and it made plenty of noise there. I'm going to be 80 in December, but I hope to get a chance to fire the cannon in a new stadium. I enjoy it and I'll keep doing it as long as I can.
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