The opposite of earnest Tuesday

A friend sent me an e-card called "Sarcastic Wednesday," an animated bit that is a mix of The Simpson's and The Office. Here are a few of my contributions to the celebration, though the only thing Pilgrim-ish about them is this perfect, strutting wild turkey, found strolling along a sidewalk in Brookline, Massachussets. Really what is more sarcastic than that? (copyright Mark Wilson, AP).

Alarming reports abound about the increasingly high cost of college tuition, which is now outpacing inflation by a wider margin than ever before. How happy I was, then, to receive a special "For Parents" newsletter with this breaking news:

Annual Cereal Survey
Each year University Dining Services surveys residence hall students to find out which 12 cereals are the students' favorites, and the top vote-getters are served at all Residence Hall Dining Centers. The winner in the Chocolate Cereal category this year is Reese's Puffs; No. 1 in the Sugared Cereal category is Honey Nut Cheerios, and the favorite in the Health Cereal category is Frosted Mini Wheats. Other top vote-getters (in alphabetical order) are Captain Crunch, Cheerios, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes, Kashi Heart to Heart, Lucky Charms, Rice Krispies, and Special K with Red Berries.

We seem lucky here in the Twin Cities, what with fires raging in California, drought in Georgia, and the always lurking threat of hurricanes in the Southeast. Plus, we've got celebrity exposes to mock, too, like Garrison Keillor's lovestruck stalker and Larry Craig's escapades. From Overheard in Minneapolis:

Relatively?
20-something man to his 20-something female companion after emerging from the bathroom: Wow! That's nice, clean, and relatively senator-free.
--MSP Airport
Overheard by Infrequent Flyer.

And from the ever-literate TMZ.com, the news-breaking entertainment site, viewers comment on Keillor's plight. One writes: "Garrison Keillor has fans?" And another, "Do you think anyone on this site would actually listen to Public Radio?" And finally, alas, what's an accomplished writer/comedian/radio host/bookstore owner to do with this comment?

"Dude, with looks like that you should be thankful anyone wants to do you."