Monday, January 14, 2008

Monday Morning Report

On our drive home from Fargo yesterday, we counted 13 cars and trucks in the ditch. The cold snap we've got here in the Twin Cities this morning was hovering around the Fargo/Moorhead area yesterday and the highways were full of that black ice. Black ice. Snirt. The vocabulary of the northern front. Do you know what those big chunks of ice and snow compacted behind your car tires are called? A blootzer. (From Urban Dictionary).

Fargo is blootzer heaven. I forgot about all that wind, all that icy snow. When I first moved to East Grand Forks, just across the Red River from the North Dakota side, I heard this joke: Why is Minnesota so windy? Answer: Because Wisconsin blows and North Dakota sucks.

But here's what I liked about Fargo.

1. It's hard to get lost. The city's freeways are not congested and even if you do take the wrong exit, it's as easy as the kiddie version of Pac Man to get yourself turned around again

2. Bar drinks are cheap. Very cheap. 24 oz. mug* of Bud Select, $2.25.

3. Everyone knows the official referee calls for hockey. The minute the refs balled up their fists and put their crossed hands over their chest, everyone in the Fargo Coliseum yelled out, "No way! There's No Way! that's interference." Often in the Cities, the refs will make the same call and the crowd of parents will be saying to one another, "Is that boarding? Cross checking? What's that call, anyway?"

4. The staff at the AmericInn (pronounced Amair Kin) posted our hockey team's picture on the home page of their shared wi-fi station. They also happily gave out extra keys, extra towels, extra blankets, and extra directions to any of us who asked. People all over were friendly to us. Even the minor leaguers from the Fargo-Moorhead Jets, an NAHL team, sat by us before their own game started and cheered on our players.

5. This place. Though I didn't get a chance to visit it, I hear it's the best boutique hotel in the tri-state area.


It is pretty funny to travel with a couple of dozen 13- and 14-year-old boys and their families. Here are some of the memorable quotes from the weekend.

1. "We're not renting a nasty movie, Mom, we're throwing dice. I'm already up $17."

2. "You're blinding me with your beautifulness," from the mouth of an eighth-grader to his attractive waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings.

3. "Yeah, he was hyperactive at dinner," from the teammate of the player who complimented the BWW waitress.

4. "Wow, those boys have better one-liners than I do," from their 20-something coach.

5. "Who threw Joey's cell phone into the pool?"

(Above: My son's preseason tryout team. He's in the middle of the back row.)

*I've been corrected.

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