It's going to be one of those days. You know, we all oversleep, kid forgets the sack lunch you rushed to pack, you put too much conditioner on in the shower and now your hair looks a little bit like Johnny Depp's but without the hunk factor. Then the nice but inept guy at the coffee shop makes your tea weak and too sweet. If I had been wearing this shirt, I could have asked for a new cup of tea that actually has some tint to the water and I wouldn't even have to explain myself. And I could jot many, many, many comments in the margin of this tough manuscript I'm working on and never once stop to rationalize author's voice v. house style. I'd be able to sneak home before lunch, take off my shoes and place them neatly by the bed, crawl under the covers, tucking the hem of the sheet tightly under my chin, and hope when I wake up it will be a brighter day. (The shirt can be purchased here.)
Now that I think about it, maybe this tee-shirt wouldn't be the best thing to wear to bed, huh?
Well, if your day got off to a prickly start, maybe this new blonde joke will help (courtesy of my friend Sharon, who happens to be a very intelligent shade of blonde):
TODAY'S BLONDE JOKE
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . .. .
(scroll down)
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
3 comments:
I'm sorry for your disordered morning, but your powers of description excel when it comes to naps.
I, also, try not to indulge in angry editing, but oh, there have been a few manuscripts... a few too many questions that essentially amounted to: WTF?!?!
Editing rage is definitely something to stave off! Each sentence elevates one's sense of incredulity until a critical mass of tension is reached and one's head explodes.
High five for naps!
-cK
Sass and cK: Naps R Me. I love a good nap. Once, at a writer's conference, one of the nonfiction panelists was asked, "Do you try to affect change with your writing? Do you have any advice on how we writers might live in this world?" The writer responded quickly, "Really, the best thing I can do--as a citizen and as a writer--is take a nap. When I take a nap I use no electricity, I'm not out driving my car, I don't consume food and discard waste, I just nap. Really, I recommend it for all of you." She was serious and a little high-and-mighty, but I thought it was perfect advice.
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